Are you the type of person who never drinks alcohol? Cool. Are you the kind of person who takes one swig of wine and gets dizzy? Also cool.
This article isn’t about pressuring anyone to drink alcohol. If drinking isn’t your thing, no problem. But you should probably go ahead and read something else.
This article is for the people who do drink because we’re now at a point where there’s an imbalance of information. If you want to quit drinking or you want to learn about why drinking alcohol is bad for you, there is a ton of information out there.
But what if you do want to drink? And what if you want to learn about how it can be a positive force in your life?
When to Drink and When NOT to Drink
There are only two times when you should drink alcohol:
When you’re ready to celebrate; or
When you need to relax
The first seems self-explanatory. Whether it’s a birthday party, a holiday, or finally getting paid for that work you did, alcohol is a great way to celebrate the good things in your life.
That being said, make sure you’re only drinking when you are truly celebrating, not commemorating. If you’d rather stay home and watch a movie on your birthday, it’s not really “celebrating” if your friends cajole you into going out and downing some shots. Celebrating means celebrating, when you’re in a good mood and want that good mood to continue.
As for #2, there’s a fine line between relaxing (also known as unwinding or decompressing) and not wanting to deal with your problems. It is really, really essential that you know where that line is.
Here’s a brief list of situations when you definitely should NOT be drinking alcohol:
You’re upset/angry
You’re sad/hurt
You’re depressed
You’re lonely
Someone has mistreated/abused you
You need some cheering up
You lost some money or something else of value
You got dumped/divorced
Please, do yourself and the world a favor and avoid alcohol if you’re feeling any of the above, even though you may be really, really tempted to drink.
There’s an old saying that says, “You can up an up, but you can’t up a down.”
Essentially, it means that, if you’re already feeling good, alcohol can help you feel even better. But if you’re feeling down, then alcohol won’t change anything (indeed, it’ll make it worse).
Alcohol only helps boost good feelings. It cannot turn bad feelings into good ones.
Social Lubrication
One of the interesting benefits of alcohol is its ability to provide “social lubrication” or to make social interactions more enjoyable and pleasant.
But here’s the secret: not everyone in a social setting needs to be drinking and/or getting drunk.
I once attended a wedding party for a couple who were devoutly Christian, and so neither they nor most of the guests consumed alcohol. No problem. But the fact that no one in attendance was drinking made it the most boring “party” I’ve ever been to.
Luckily, a savvy guest had some alcohol in his car and invited a select few others to come join him for a discreet drink. When they returned, suddenly, the entire party started jumping, and everyone had a good time.
Perhaps only 3-4 of the people at the party were drinking, but it was just enough to “lubricate” the situation and get everyone to relax and start dancing and having fun.
Parties and social gatherings can be plenty of fun without every single person needing to be drunk and/or drinking alcohol. If you’re a teetotaler or a “lightweight,” you can still have plenty of fun in these situations.
Just make sure that someone in the group is well “lubricated” to avoid an awkward, boring encounter for everyone.
Food Is Essential
Probably one of the biggest mistakes that young people, especially, make when it comes to alcohol is not giving enough importance to food.
If drinking is involved, always have some food on hand, even if it’s just cheap snacks like pretzels or peanuts. If not, then I guarantee at least one person is going to puke their guts out.
If you’ve ever been to a bar where the bathroom floor is covered in vomit, then it’s a bar where they don’t automatically serve snacks with alcoholic drinks.
A friend of mine used to own a bar, and he’d have to mop up puke every single night at closing time. I told him that spending a couple of bucks on giving out free pretzels would solve the problem, but he never listened to me.
The Superman Rule
Years ago, I discovered the “Superman Rule,” and it’s never failed to be the right way to handle a bout of drinking. I’ve also disregarded the rule a few times, and it’s been a disaster every single time.
The Superman Rule goes like this: when you’re feeling like Superman (awesome), that’s when you stop drinking.
When you’re drunk, though, it feels completely counterintuitive. You’re flying high, feeling 10 feet tall and bulletproof, so of course you want another drink! Why not? If you feel great now, one more drink will make you feel even better! Whoo-hoo!
No.
As soon as you hit that magic spot, that’s when you stop drinking. Switch to water. Eat some food. Do anything you like, just no more drinking alcohol. I promise, your “high” will continue just fine. The party will still be awesome, and you will still enjoy all the laughs and hijinks for hours to come.
On the other hand, if you ignore the Superman Rule and keep drinking, you’ll soon be over your limit. You’ll be unable to walk or see straight, and you may also feel really, really terrible.
Write down the Superman Rule on your hand, if need be. Because your brain will tell you to ignore it when you’re drunk, but you’ll always be glad later if you follow it.
How to Never Get a Hangover
First, never get coerced into drinking more than you want to. Whether you’re a “lightweight” or you’ve simply reached your limit, only drink as much as you feel is right for you.
Second, know the importance of dietary fat aka “grease” in how your body processes alcohol.
Most drinkers tend to wait until they are really drunk before eating anything greasy, and then they stumble their way to a fast-food outlet or pop something in the microwave to satisfy their cravings. But by that time, it may be too late.
The smart move is to eat something greasy BEFORE you start drinking. In Spain, people swallow a few teaspoons of olive oil before going out. For people in other cultures, it may be a greasy burger or a plate of fries.
Either way, get that oil/fat/grease in your stomach first. Then, as the night of drinking is underway, the alcohol will be absorbed more slowly. Your liver can only process so much alcohol in a given amount of time, so the grease acts like a queuing or buffering system.
Don’t worry, you’ll still get plenty drunk, I assure you. But don’t wait until the end of the night before stuffing your face with something greasy.
Third, make sure you get a little bit of salt. You can do this while you’re drinking by eating salty snacks like pickles, peanuts, chips (crisps), or pretzels. Drinking alcohol depletes your body of electrolytes, which is a fancy way of saying “salt,” so make sure you consume a little salt while you’re drinking.
Fourth, avoid sugar at all costs. This can be in the form of sugary/sweet food but is more likely to be either from juice or a soft drink, often mixed with alcohol in the form of a cocktail. If you absolutely must use a sweet mixer in your drink, then consume one with artificial sweeteners like a “diet” or “sugar-free” version.
Side note: If you know someone who has a “sweet tooth,” and consumes a lot of sugar, they probably don’t drink any/much alcohol. Conversely, people who drink alcohol regularly don’t usually consume a lot of sweet foods/drinks.
Your body processes sugar and alcohol in an almost identical manner, so consuming sugar during a night out is virtually the same as drinking more alcohol, so do your body a favor and avoid sugar when you’re drinking alcohol.
Fifth and finally, drink as much water as you can before you go to sleep. It’s also a good idea to keep some water on hand near your bed in case you wake up in the night and get thirsty. And be sure to drink a glass of water in the morning, first thing.
Drinking alcohol results in dehydration, so drinking water helps restore that as well as assisting your body in processing the alcohol (and the ton of greasy junk food you might have eaten).
How to Treat a Hangover
Literally everyone and their brother has a “cure” for a hangover, but they generally consist of three elements:
Rehydration (consume water/liquids)
Salt
Resting/sleeping
In some cultures, there’s a specific salty soup that people eat as a hangover cure. You decide what works for you, but focus on hydrating and consuming some salts as the first thing you eat before moving onto something else.
If your hangover is in the form of a severe headache, this is likely because a) you’re severely dehydrated and/or b) you consumed sugar the night before. Something about consuming sugar really does make hangover headaches a lot worse.
If your hangover is in the form of your body feeling “like shit,” then this is likely due to the fact that you didn’t consume enough fat/grease the night before. As soon as you can, try and eat something substantial (once you’ve rehydrated, of course).
Obviously, if your hangover is in the form of feeling fatigued, exhausted, or worn out, then get some sleep. It also helps if you can have a window open and get some fresh air on your face.
Never Do These Things When You’re Drunk
Some of these are obvious (I hope), and some less so. But make an ironclad list for yourself to follow. Otherwise, you might be tempted to do them when you’re drunk.
Never, ever:
Drive or operate any kind of heavy vehicle (including tractors)
Do something requiring a lot of physical dexterity (like skateboarding)
Send a message/photo to someone you’re romantically interested in
Send a message/photo to your “ex”
Set off or light fireworks
Edit/review something you wrote or any other form of your artistic/creative work
Fire/handle a gun or any other kind of weapon
Buy/order something on the internet (or over the phone)
Log onto social media apps (Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, etc)
Write a comment on the internet
Write an email
Call/message someone you’re angry with
Talk to/message your mother or father
Wake someone up who is sleeping
Other than that, have fun!
Day Drinking
Most of the time, drinking alcohol occurs at night. But there’s something magical and unusual about drinking during the day.
I can’t say quite why, but being outside on a lovely day and having a drink, especially with friends, can be a really wonderful experience.
In contrast to drinking at night, day drinking usually almost always happens spontaneously and is almost never planned. It just “happens” and when it does, it’s pretty great.
The best place to do day drinking is when you’re outside in some kind of natural environment. In fact, day drinking indoors sucks, so even if you’re just sitting out front of your house on a couple of lawn chairs, get outside.
Popular “activities” that go well with day drinking include:
Barbecuing/grilling/cooking outdoors
Golfing
Camping
Fishing
Sitting on the tailbed of a pickup truck
Put on a little music, and you’ll have a truly memorable experience!
Awesome Things to Do While Drinking
Oftentimes, people will only be exposed to a limited set of experiences when it comes to drinking, such as being in a bar or as part of a “party.”
But there’s a lot more things you can enjoy while drinking:
Write or create other forms of art (painting, music, etc)
Be alone (not the same thing as being lonely)
Learn/practice a new language
Be a passenger in a car/vehicle
Play low-contact sports like frisbee or golfing
Visit an amusement park
Watch the waves (or any other body of water)
People watch in crowded environments like an airport or mall
Dance!
Sing (even if you’re terrible at it)
Take a walk (especially in nature)
Sit around a campfire
Lie on the grass and look up at the stars
Play with your dog(s)
Watch a comedy performance and/or tell/write your own jokes
Make love
Listen to good music at high volume
Strike up a conversation with a stranger
Get dressed in unusual clothes/outfits
Join a parade
Watch a fireworks display
Cook a meal
Record an audio/video of yourself and/or your friends
And there’s plenty more that I’m sure I missed.
Conclusion
Certainly, no one ever has to drink, and no one should ever feel pressure to drink. Life can definitely be enjoyed without alcohol.
But if alcohol is right for you, it can really make for some wonderful and unforgettable experiences. Too often, people who drink are made to apologize or are forced to keep a damper on their enthusiasm for having had a good time with alcohol.
As long as alcohol is a positive force in your life, I say, drink and be merry! Life is short enough as it is without letting a few naysayers ruin what could be some of the best times you’ll ever experience.